How to die well

This month’s recommendation comes again from Seen & Unseen, the website that offers “Christian perspectives on just about everything”. The article is by Jane Cacouris, and it is about the rise in popularity of “direct cremations” and what that might tell us about changing attitudes towards death and mourning in Britain in recent years.

While how we grieve and deal with the loss of loved ones can be a deeply personal thing, how we mourn and respond outwardly to death tends to follow patterns that are deeply rooted in our culture and beliefs.

Cacouris describes how her own attitudes towards death and mourning were shaped by her childhood in traditional and conservative Portugal, where widows of fishermen lost at sea were expected to dress in black for the remainder of their lives out of respect for their dead husbands, and where funerals were communal affairs—often accompanied by loud expressions of grief. Traces of this culture linger on despite the massive changes to Portugal brought about by the boom in tourism and economic prosperity of recent years.

Moving closer to home, Cacouris says one sign of rapidly evolving attitudes to death and mourning in Britain is the growth in demand for “direct cremations”, where no service takes place, either in church or crematorium, and where the deceased is cremated without any ritual, and often with no one present. 

One reason for the growth in demand for direct cremations is undoubtedly cost—funerals can be expensive and upsetting. But perhaps in our secular society, with the decline in traditional belief and church attendance, we have lost the sense that life is a gift, and that its end should be marked somehow. 

Christianity has always prized the human body, and although we experience decline and eventually, death, we nonetheless look forward to the resurrection of our bodies to eternal life with Christ.

Cacouris reminds us that funerals help us to mark that transition, allow us to celebrate and make sense of a person’s life, and give meaning to those of us that still have life to lead. 

Read the article here.